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Happy fucking birthday to me. So, I�woke up, did some things.. Smoked.. Since Iapos;ve always wanted to go to school high and all.. THEN I�fucking got really light headed and shit and wow, I felt like complete fucking shit. But then I got food and yeah I was better.�So�I�went to school, blah blah blah. Cute boy said happy birthday to me =) SO DID BOY, 2 TIMES. The second was better though ah. Anyways, I really hate life right now. I�hate my stupid friends that donapos;t even care its my birthday. I�hate boys. So fucking much. I hate school with a passion. Iapos;m NEVER smoking again. Iapos;m gonna use my veet in a few days.. I hope it works. I HATE STUPID SLUTS. Gr. I�hate everyone everything. Fuck my birthday, I�donapos;t give a shit. I�wish I was 16. BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHLBLAHBLAH. Hatehatehate. Everyone can go suck themselves.

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I hope screamfest is good for what ails me.... Because im a fingernail away from total nervous breakdown.�

I swear this is the stuff that really proves to me that pot needs to be legalized, because normally, when im getting THIS�bad, i could get it under control with half a bowl.�Just take the load off my shoulders for a matter of hours, let the stress flow out of me, get myself together and able to tackle the next huge ammount of responsibility waiting for me the next day.� Maybe once or twice a week is all i did it, and with far less side effects (long range mostly) than any� "legal" pharmacuetical had done� for me, and hella cheaper.� But, filling out job apps comes with the inevitable drug test so ive had to abstain.� (Pot... Being the most harmless of drugs has the distinction of being the one drug that stays in your system the longest... Like can take up to 30 days to get out sometimes)� Now if i was a speed freak, or a coke head... Stuff that everyone KNOWS�is way more dangerous-- well that gets out of your system in a couple of days.� WHERE�IS�THE�JUSTICE�

First person that tells me i can duplicate that with excercise... I will sodomize you with a thighmaster.� I go out walking just to destress daily and it took me an hour and a half to walk back last night� before i realized how far i walked. (true story)

Its funny what little thing it does to set you off, im barely holding it together with my moms medical problems, and the tremendous strain its putting on my finances, and then my problem with my car being stolen, and not sure how the hell im gonna� get thru that... (im working on getting a Van thats been broken down going for temporary solution. )�� But im packing a few items up and im looking for my hat.� Its just a silly hat, but its been with me during some good times, its been with me tubing down the Brazos and Guadalupe River at least three times, its taken in countless baseball games, minor league and majors... Its been with me thru fourth of july picnics---- its just something that i wear in summertime and springtime and it reminds me of some really good times and it had become kinda special to me,. �

And it was in my car.

Yeah... I know.. Just an ugly ol hat, and a lot of people look at it with a kind of sneer and tell me im better off and they just dont get it....

I know im being silly about it but i dont have a lot of "things" that mean something to me.. And that did.

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My cell phone decided to take a swim in my milk, and fizzed itself permanently. So I have a spiffy new flip phone care of LG and Alltel. All is well.

Iapos;ve been without internet access since Friday, and I have missed it--not talking on Eharmony and here is bad for my nerves.

Iapos;ve gained about six pounds, and you can tell. Itapos;s irking the hell out of me.

I have nothing to say. Weird.

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FINALLY�COME�TO�THE�END�OF�OUR�EOY�:D
omgomg, Oapos;lv coming soon T_______________T
rawrr� Had ComputerStudies paper today which iapos;m so gonna flunk � *so sorry,
Went for the OBS briefing later and then homed.
ohoh i created a new char named zhenkeaii -.- LOLLOL (reminds me of the prank-.-)
~fastforward~

Netball, Netball, Netball, like after so long, iapos;ve lost the feel -.-
but in the end, i got super wooper high during Netball T.T
MANMAN,�CURRYPOK hahahah -.-
court games and so, went to Caltex then waited for mama, down to WestPlaza and finally, home =D
I�ATE�SO�MUCH�THAT�I�NEEDA�VOMIT�EVERYTHING�OUT�NOW�):

being yourself is enough.
you need not change for others




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What is it
what is it that a guy has to do to get your attention?
I know I probably already have it
but, what do I do with it?
How do I take this, and turn it into something?
Do I just keep doing what iapos;m doing, and hope I donapos;t end up
Just Your Friend.
Or is there something i could do that would show my interest and
Make You Interested.
is this all just a waste of time?

Have you already made your decision,
and already written me off.
Say you did do that
how do I come back?
can I?

or am I
Just Another Guy
and youapos;re too nice to
Tell Me.

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If you write, RP, or draw or whatever original characters, please tell me about them

If you write/RP/etc but only use established characters, tell me why you made that choice? (Iapos;m not being antagonistic, Iapos;m genuinely curious as my experience of such fripperies has been that my original stuff and fanfic grew up side by side like incestuous brothers sunflowers).

ALSO.

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Waking up at 5 everyday... Not going to class.. Not primping myself or looking presentable anymore- is not how I want to live.
Im supposed to be succesful, im MEANT to be succesful. I have an amazing superhero family, amazing friends that are there for me every second of the day, and a wonderful boyfriend who supports my every move. I shouldnt take those for granted. I have to start taking responsibility for myself. Itapos;s getting out of hand. I need to get a job and stop sending my college money. Im doing something that not everyone gets a chance to do, Iapos;m a college student trying to make soemthing better of myself. I have dreams that are slowly going out the window ...�I do have time to fix that though.
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