

I hope screamfest is good for what ails me.... Because im a fingernail away from total nervous breakdown.�
I swear this is the stuff that really proves to me that pot needs to be legalized, because normally, when im getting THIS�bad, i could get it under control with half a bowl.�Just take the load off my shoulders for a matter of hours, let the stress flow out of me, get myself together and able to tackle the next huge ammount of responsibility waiting for me the next day.� Maybe once or twice a week is all i did it, and with far less side effects (long range mostly) than any� "legal" pharmacuetical had done� for me, and hella cheaper.� But, filling out job apps comes with the inevitable drug test so ive had to abstain.� (Pot... Being the most harmless of drugs has the distinction of being the one drug that stays in your system the longest... Like can take up to 30 days to get out sometimes)� Now if i was a speed freak, or a coke head... Stuff that everyone KNOWS�is way more dangerous-- well that gets out of your system in a couple of days.� WHERE�IS�THE�JUSTICE�
First person that tells me i can duplicate that with excercise... I will sodomize you with a thighmaster.� I go out walking just to destress daily and it took me an hour and a half to walk back last night� before i realized how far i walked. (true story)
Its funny what little thing it does to set you off, im barely holding it together with my moms medical problems, and the tremendous strain its putting on my finances, and then my problem with my car being stolen, and not sure how the hell im gonna� get thru that... (im working on getting a Van thats been broken down going for temporary solution. )�� But im packing a few items up and im looking for my hat.� Its just a silly hat, but its been with me during some good times, its been with me tubing down the Brazos and Guadalupe River at least three times, its taken in countless baseball games, minor league and majors... Its been with me thru fourth of july picnics---- its just something that i wear in summertime and springtime and it reminds me of some really good times and it had become kinda special to me,. �
And it was in my car.
Yeah... I know.. Just an ugly ol hat, and a lot of people look at it with a kind of sneer and tell me im better off and they just dont get it....
I know im being silly about it but i dont have a lot of "things" that mean something to me.. And that did.
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