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Okay so here I am doing what I told myself never to do. I am leading on someone I care about, but they care about me in a much different way. I donapos;t want to hurt him but there is only so much I can do when he lives two hours away. I am falling for someone who is so wrong for me it isnapos;t even funny. At the same time he makes me happy. And he cares about me in ways Kevin never showed.

Last night I went to Hang out with Mike Jared and Jenna, Jaredapos;s gf. Why didnapos;t Mike invite his gf? And why was he hardcore flirting with me all night, I know heapos;s a flirt but there is a line obviously. I had a Blast I just wish I could have stayed longer, Iapos;m going over there again tonight and probably staying, they all want me to drink. I am going to but I think its so lame that it is all they wanted to do last night. I guess Iapos;m just used to having fun with out drinking? Jaredapos;s gf is so sweet. Iapos;m jealous of their relationship. Mike is coming over after work to apologize to my mom. He texted my sister an apology on my phone last night. Kevin never would have given a damn if my family hated him or not, that makes me feel good about mike. I just wish I knew where I stood with him. I donapos;t want to get ahead of myself again and screw it all up. And what happens when Chett comes home expecting me to be there to kiss? Rahh Iapos;m digging myself into a grave. Shit.

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